At one time or another, all jewellery business owners will encounter‘time wasters’.
Whether in a personal or professional setting, everyone has people in their lives who seem to want help with whatever challenges they face, yet never act on the advice given.
I recently found myself among a group of people who each expressed a desire to improve their respective businesses.
They were consistently given advice that would have helped them deal with the challenge they faced, not just from me but also from other members of the group.
In subsequent meetings, they would express the same challenge and receive advice, some similar to what they had received previously andothers offering new approaches.
They would then bring the same challenge to the following meeting.In other words, they repeatedly chose not to act on the advice they had been given. They were wasting everyone’s time, including their own.
This is a dynamic that jewellery store owners will recognise when coaching staff or advising customers who repeatedly seek guidance.
This begs the question: What should you do in situations like this?
Dealing with time wasters
My natural inclination is to stop associating with time wasters. I resist that inclination, and before walking away, I make them aware that they are making choices whether they realise it or not.
I tell them that their decision not to act on the advice they have received is often made subconsciously, and that subconscious choices are usually driven by emotion.
Choices and any other decisions made while in an emotional state are typically the worst choices we make.
Then I suggest that they make a conscious choice to either act on the advice or not. If they decide not to act on the advice they received, I end the conversation.
I’m not going to let them waste my time or drain my energy any longer. Another way to look at this is: I care more about their welfare than they do.
This mismatch means that no matter what I do, I can’t help them because they don’t want to be helped. That is okay!
They have the right to choose what they want in life. If they choose the status quo, that is their right. Similarly, I have the right to choose not to attempt to help people who don’t really want to be helped.
This is a choice I make whenever I realise I care more than they do.
It would be nice to avoid these time wasters entirely; however, it is impossible. The reality is that we can’t avoid these people because we cannot tell, at a glance, who is willing to be helped and who isn’t.
We need some experience with them and a frame of reference to determine which category they fall into.
The key to avoiding excessive wasted time and energy is to quickly identify who is willing to do the work to overcome their challenge and who is not. Consider the following as early signs that they are not serious about being helped.
They repeatedly tell you that they have tried everything you are suggesting, or they respond with “yeah, but.”
When they repeatedly tell you that what you are suggesting has been tried and has not worked, it would seem doubtful they have, indeed, tried everything you have indicated - because if they had, they would not still have the problem!
“Yeah, but” responses are indications that they are moving the target on you. In other words, their “yeah buts” are a way of avoiding the advice you are giving.
It’s a way of avoiding taking action that will resolve their problem.
Jewellery retailers will hear this language frequently from customers who want reassurance but not resolution, and employees who resist accountability.
Key points to consider
As soon as you realise that these people are avoiding acting to solve their problem, make them aware that they are making a choice.
I believe that everyone deserves a reminder of the following:
- They are making choices whether they realise it or not.
- They are choosing subconsciously, driven by emotion, and these are typically poor choices.
- They are going to get better results when they make a conscious decision about whether or not to take the action necessary to solve the problem.
- Regardless of the conscious choice they make, they will be happier with that choice.
Once you have delivered this reminder and find the person is still unwilling to act, it’s time to exit gracefully. Wish them well; however, distance yourself from time wasters who choose not to be helped.
For jewellers, this may mean politely concluding a sale conversation or reassessing an employee’s readiness to improve.
Distancing yourself will save you a lot of time and avoid the energy drain that these people would impose on you.
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